“He kissed my stretch marks” said the legendary Shirley Valentine in the hilarious movie with her namesake title. There is a spectacular scene in the film where after sleeping with a Greek sailor, he is rhapsodizing about how she should appreciate her stretch marks, “they show that you are alive, that you have given life; don’t be ashamed of these marks. They are beautiful.” Ahhh, the wisdom that pours out of men’s mouths when they have just been (or are about to be) blessed with the juicy bliss of a woman.
The beautiful truth is that every inch of our body and every cell in our mind is in fact a flawless work of art by the creator herself. Yet, there is a terrible epidemic amongst women and girls that we are somehow flawed. I have yet to meet a woman, myself included, that absolutely has not one single discrepancy with any part of herself. Well I’m here to set the record straight once and for all; for you, for me, for our daughters, our girlfriends, our family – for every woman in our life. And, I want to provide you with some wisdom tools that will help you drop this ridiculous notion of “being flawed.” I want to pull back the curtain where the great wizard of illusion has been filling us with absolute nonsense and downright lies!
Why is it that we can look upon a beautiful natural landscape and see such pristine beauty but when we look at our own bodies in the mirror we dissect every inch of our being and find a plethora of so-called flaws? Do you see the hypocrisy here? If you dissect that very landscape you will see that there are nicks and tears, imperfections, asymmetry and divine paradoxes everywhere you look. But we tend to accept that as “nature.” Listen lovey, you are nature too. You are a part of the natural world just as much as the forest, the ocean, the desert and the tropical paradise. This is an irrefutable truth. God/Goddess does not make mistakes!
It is high time every woman and man step firmly into their power and tell Hollywood to kiss our imperfect asses. We are moving into a time of transparency and as truth prevails, the illusions that have been perpetrated upon us are beginning to fall away. Those perfect looking shots in magazines are not real; they are airbrushed or photo-shopped. Many of those poor skin and bone models and celebrities have personal trainers and starve themselves (and may I say a quick thank you J Lo, Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, and to all the other curvy girls who are owning their curves…and eating). The skin, the makeup, the hair that we see in media is perfected by a professional, often for hours. There are fake boobs, fake asses, fake noses, fake lips, and Goddess knows what else, everywhere we turn. All of this illusion infiltrates our awareness and can lead us to feel inadequate – flawed.
It is time to stop this madness and embrace the truth. Nature is imperfect, but it is not flawed. Likewise, we are imperfect, but we are not, and will never be – flawed. Every curve (or lack there of), stretch mark, scar, nose bump, crooked smile, inch of asymmetry, crazy thought, or whatever you might see as a flaw is actually a work of art by your creator. When you accept yourself as naturally imperfect and absolutely flawless you will experience a profoundly deep sense of peace, self love, and adoration. When you stop judging yourself, you automatically stop judging others, and that my friend’s is where some sweet juicy magic dwells.
Let’s be clear here, practicing acceptance for every aspect of your being is not a destination, but rather a practice. This means, like it or not, you are going to be faced with moments, days, even weeks that go by where you might have some difficulty sinking into the groove of “flawless.” Human nature is a wild ride and our work towards personal growth is never done, until we die. So when you find yourself slipping into that place of finding flaws, screw the big girl panties, put on the black leather, ass-kicking, knee high, stiletto boots!
In other words, ask yourself – “What Would A Goddess Do?” Seriously, have you ever seen or heard of a Goddess figure shrinking into self-judgment and finding fault in some non-existent flaws on her body or of her mind? Hell No! A Goddess knows she is a natural work of art. She owns every aspect of her self. So to help you dissolve any illusion and dance with the true beauty of you, I invite you to connect with a particular Goddess who represents what you want to embody. I guarantee, if you truly open your heart and allow her to speak to you, she will answer your plea and help you rock your flawless life.
Here are three Goddess Archetypes that you might find helpful in your flawless journey. At the end of each description, I have included an excerpt from a poem that is found associated with each Goddess in the wonderful Goddess Oracle deck by Amy Sophia Marashinsky. It is my favorite Goddess deck and for a long while was out of print. It is now back in print, so if you feel so guided, I highly suggest you snatch one up while you can.
Lakshmi – She is the Hindu Goddess of abundance, wealth and prosperity – both material and spiritual. I particularly like this rendition of Lakshmi, by Hrana Janto as she is unapologetically depicted as a curvy, voluptuous woman. What you may perceive as flaws actually represent an abundance of experience. When you call upon this potent Goddess you not only invoke the essence of abundance but you also embody the power of what abundance represents in the natural world. A forest that is abundant is thick with full, robust trees and plant life. It overflows with growth and the uneven blemishes of natural fullness. When we connect with Lakshmi we are connecting with an undeniable force of nature that proudly boasts inner wealth from a deeply beautiful perspective.
“I am the ever-flowing outpouring of plenty
the inexhaustible the never ending
from the fullness of my being
I give richly and opulently
I am everywhere and will never cease to be”
Oshun – This Goddess is found in many African and Afro-Latino traditions. She is the Goddess of water and is revered for her sensuality. She loves to adorn herself with beauty. In the spiritual traditions where she is found, the women who claim her as their Goddess move and dance in the most tantalizing and provocative ways. They flow like water. Oshun reminds us that every woman is beautiful when she owns and struts her unique gorgeousness. By invoking Oshun you summon your divine gratification in the irrefutable, divine beauty of your very existence.
“Oh let me delight you with beauty
when your spirit from the stars connects in a blissful way
with your body from the earth, then you will know sensuality”
Kuan Yin – The lovely Chinese Buddhist bodhisattva of Compassion. She is often referred to as the manifestation of the Divine Mother, serving similarly to Mother Mary. It is said that she is so powerful that even the mention of her name will ease suffering and hardship. What Kuan Yin blesses us with is the holy act of taking mercy and compassion on ourselves; loving each and every aspect of our body and mind. She is soft and gentle much like a loving grandmother. Her wisdom is a profound pathway to releasing our self harshness and unleashing the awareness that we can not be anything BUT beautifully flawless.
“I made the vow
and kept my word
I reached enlightenment
I am called The Compassionate One
She Whose Name Alleviates All Suffering”
Perhaps you have your own Goddess or other deity that you identify with to embrace your flawless imperfection. What is important is that if you do find yourself getting caught up in the façade of perfection, you have resources and tools to help you return to truth. Ask yourself “What Would A Goddess Do?” Allow her to gently whisper into your heart and remind you of your innate holiness. Your body is the temple you chose for this human adventure. The way it is designed is not a mistake and the nicks and dings it accumulates along the way are sacred reminders of the growth you have achieved. Perfection is nothing but a grand illusion. Open yourself to flawless imperfection in all its divinity, for it is gorgeously raw, righteous, real beauty; in you, in me, in all of creation.
If you haven’t seen the movie Shirley Valentine, check it out. I think it’s even on You Tube. If you have, maybe its time to have a girl’s night movie party and revisit the levity of life. Afterwards, it would be fun to share with each other your perceived flaws. You’d be surprised how others don’t even see what you do. Even better, they often see beauty that you might have been too distracted with the erroneous flaws to notice.
Lastly, let me share with you a great line from the movie…”Who would you rather be naked in front of, a room full of men or a room full of women? A wise woman would say ‘men’ simply, because they would just be grateful.” What do you think?